In cyberspace, a kind of “two-way tearing” covers many contemporary youth. On the one hand, they have been active on various apps for longer and longer: reveling in Weibo comments, swiping the screen in the barrage of station B, frantically “chopping hands” before the live broadcast… a stiffly stitched expression Bao, or a wordless spoken word, can usher in the army of stalking.
On the other hand, they are facing increasingly intense feelings of loneliness and anxiety. “Keyboard depression” and “online social fear (referring to social fear)”, falling asleep late at night accompanied by melancholic music, click on “What is it like to be lost to the extreme” in Zhihu, in order to find a trace of “comfort for the same sickness”.
Faced with such a tear, how should contemporary young people who are caught in the Internet tide rebuild their cultivation and maintain their physical and mental health? How to exile their loneliness from a corner and find a truly suitable stage for themselves in front of the keyboard?
Half a month talk about reporters Wei Jingyu Liu Fangzhou Wang Ona Zhu Lili Zhu Han Lin Guangyao
Vent when sad and angry. Various emotions that are difficult to express in reality are freely released in cyberspace. Keyboard depression, online social fear, diss (referring to bashing and cursing) addiction, and some Internet mood syndromes spread among young people. “I am depressed but not really depressed” “I go online but don’t want to socialize” “I curse people so as not to be scolded”… Some internet youths ride on an emotional roller coaster, orgy online, but also lose out online.
1 Psychological Sketch of Online Youth
——”Sorry for Fu New Words”: keyboard depression people who consume depression.
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t like me, I don’t like myself either.” Xiaoxin, a post-95s post-95 who just entered the workplace, is an energetic little girl in her life, but she often posts some mourning comments on online platforms. “Online is free, you can shake the emotions in every corner of my heart.” Xiaoxin said, “to enter the adult society, you need to be serious, but on the Internet I can cry as much as I want.”
More and more people vent their “mourning” in reality on the Internet, and depression pervades social platforms. In some online forums, some people joked, “depression” seems to be the threshold to enter some cyberspace.
Some young people with less experience are easily moved by themselves. They are not really depressed. They are just so touched by the image of “being miserable and weak” that they have created, and they are very worried about other “kind” online. The keyboard-depressed people express their anxiety for new words, and the consumption depression also brings them more praise.
-“Refuse to be labeled”: The voice of the online social terrorists.
28-year-old Xiao Zhou no longer remembers when he last looked through Moments. “It feels like everyone is operating their own false image in the circle of friends, and posting news is to serve this purpose.” In Xiao Zhou’s view, the circle of friends is becoming more and more a place for shaping social images, and there are even special training courses. , To guide you how to create a certain high-quality image.
Xiao Zhou thinks he is a person who hates being labelled, but he will inevitably be labelled when posting to Moments, and he does not know how to be himself. “You have to worry a lot when you post a mood. After finally posting, you still pay attention to who gave me likes and who didn’t. Later, I just stopped posting. WeChat eventually became an address book.” Xiao Zhou said, ” I prefer to get along with real people.”
Likes and reposts on social platforms have gradually become an inefficient or even ineffective communication. Many people may rush to like and repost before they can see what the content is, just to appear “I am following you”, as if they like to like. Those who are “true friends”. This social environment is depressing, and some people start to fear and flee from these online social interactions. “For the so-called friends who don’t like the friends, the efficiency of online communication is obviously improved.” Xiao Zhou said.
-“Defend my voice”: the cry of diss addicts.
It is a relaxing game platform in itself, but it is becoming more and more hostile. After 90s, Yaoyao is a certain online game enthusiast. Although she is already an experienced player, she still has difficulty adapting to the ubiquitous “sprayers” in the game.
“The game requires teamwork to play, and cooperation can only be won, but it is very easy to cause a war of words.” Yaoyao said that most “sprayers” are self-centered, and teammates scold their teammates if they lose and scold them if they lose. Teammates, what’s more, add other people’s friends just for insulting.
After 00, the star-chaser Kobayashi learned to “elegantly” curse people when he played lists and controlled reviews for his favorite stars. “You must scold badly for black fans, but you must not have swear words, otherwise you will be blocked and titled.” Xiaolin talked about his experience of cursing people online.
Yaoyao and Xiaolin found that netizens were generally “more and more irritable”, and they often dissed each other when they didn’t agree. Kobayashi said that this is a kind of “forced to rebel”. Yaoyao believes that people who are addicted to online diss enjoy a sense of language manipulation. Many “small environments” in the network society are conducive to the breeding of this “condescending” sense of manipulation. Lin Pin, a lecturer at the School of Letters and Letters of Capital Normal University, believes that either or the other “diode thinking” is widespread in the Internet. Diss addiction is a rejection of dissent and reflects the irrationality and unconfidence of netizens.
2 Life that is difficult to control, enlarge and strengthen the network
Cyber emotion syndrome is often a projection of real life, but it can only be expressed in cyberspace, or be strengthened and amplified. “Because the Internet has a stealth function, there are fewer things to be cautious about when expressing online, and some negative emotions may be amplified.” said Liu Shengtao, an associate professor at the Institute of Educational Science of Hunan University.
Some young people have various extreme emotional expressions on the Internet, generally because of the lack of emotional accumulation and lack of expression channels in reality, and the Internet provides room for compensation for this shortcoming. Some people feel deeply depressed in real life and use cyberspace where they basically don’t have to bear the consequences as an outlet to vent their emotions; some have difficulty in controlling real life and want to find a sense of manipulation in the online society; some just feel that life is too boring and enjoy being on the Internet Create the pleasure of contradiction and opposition.
The characteristics of “circling stratification” in cyberspace are becoming more and more obvious. Individuals tend to seek identification and group warmth. Some extreme emotional expressions are often easier to “attract attention” than rational and peaceful remarks. Lin Pin said that in the tribalized and hierarchical network society, netizens are combined through “interesting relationships” to establish connections and become small societies.
“Such an emotional community needs to be maintained. Therefore, it is easy to have path dependence on the simplest way to enhance group identity by dividing the enemy and the outside world.” said Xu Jinghong, a professor at the School of Journalism and Communication of Beijing Normal University. The state of interaction has strong offensive and defensive attributes, resulting in a variety of group polarization phenomena, and the more swear words are read, the more prone to swear words.”
The anonymity of communication and the limited supervision methods have also contributed to the spread of extreme emotions on the Internet. Xu Jinghong said that the Internet has created a virtual social identity for everyone, so that netizens can enjoy more freedom of speech and can express their opinions through online comments, but the anonymization of cyberspace also allows netizens to escape from reality. I am more willing to show my emotional self. “This has largely eliminated the possibility of rational communication in cyberspace, making many young people accustomed to conveying emotions rather than communicating opinions.”
When some people’s emotions on the Internet cross the border and cause harm to others, there is no effective means to restrain and supervise them. Yaoyao said that the game customer service has to deal with a lot of “cursing and scolding” reports, but at most the player’s reputation points are deducted, and it is still impossible to change the situation of “spraying” everywhere.
3 Emotions are like tides, poured into reality from the Internet
The emotions, language, and behavior of cyberspace are unknowingly flowing back to reality-many young people’s emotional expression, language communication, and behavior habits are marked by the Internet, which strengthens “irrationality”, “vulnerability”, “blind obedience”, etc. feature.
-Internet extreme emotions affect emotional expression in reality. Some psychologists worry that keyboard-depressed people who talk about sadness and talk about depression may make people who really suffer from depression be ignored. In the environment of keyboard depression, as a kind of mental illness, depression has experienced a process from “romanticization” to “stigmatization” in cyberspace. At first, it was “the most gentle disease in the world” and later became The so-called “Net Yiyun” label is a hypocritical expression of users. People with depression usually don’t want to share their feelings with others, and tend to close themselves because it is difficult to share grief and joy. Under the trend of “keyboard depression”, it is more difficult for them to be noticed and understood.
-Internet swear words pollute daily communication and increase social hostility. Xu Jinghong said that it is necessary to be wary of swear words on the Internet after “washing white” into daily expressions. Some vulgar and interesting vocabulary has become almost neutral words through conventional whitewashing. “If this phenomenon is long-term and widespread, we may even gradually accept some Internet swear words into our daily expressions.”
——Once bad Internet behaviors become habit, they can easily affect the healthy growth of individuals. As time goes by, some netizens will “desensitize” certain network phenomena: once hated mutual attacks on the Internet, now they are ignored, and they may follow along with a few words; previously they would consider the consequences of publishing some content online, but now they don’t. Thinking blurted out… the long-term unconstrained personal bad behavior on the Internet will reduce the shame of these behaviors, and gradually think that these behaviors are reasonable, and they may also follow them in real life.
Violence, hypocrisy, and a negative energy network environment will damage the physical and mental health of young people. The behavior acquisition of young people mainly comes from imitating the surroundings, and the Internet is one of the important channels for young people to contact the outside world. All kinds of extreme emotions on the Internet can easily obscure the right and wrong judgments of young people, make their moral quality lower, weaken their moral concepts, and plant the seeds of rebellion and even crime.
Half a month talk about reporter Bai Jiali Zhu Han Lin Guangyao Zhu Lili Wang Oona Liu Fangzhou
“It’s hard to say whether it is the offline life pressure that causes us to show negative emotions online, or the transmission of online negative emotions leads to the accumulation of offline negative emotions. I feel that I am under double squeeze and happiness has become difficult.” Tianjin City Zhang Wen (pseudonym), an employee of a certain company, said that after get off work every day, she spends most of her time using her mobile phone, and when she turns off her mobile phone, “depression” will strike.
Xia Chao, senior author of the pan-psychology brand KnowYourself, said that the most important characteristic of young people now is the dizziness in the face of choices, showing a sense of confusion, fatigue and meaninglessness. And accompanied by the state of mind slipping into nothingness is the overwhelming negative emotions on the Internet.
Xiao Li, a 30-year-old office worker, is a “hardcore” player of online games and also has social fears. He usually doesn’t like to talk to people, and try to avoid dealing with people in the company. He indulges in online games every day when he gets home from get off work, and refuses all kinds of gatherings. The weekend is still his game time, and it is difficult for “faxiao” to successfully invite invitations. “I know that the game is virtual and time-consuming, but it allows me to avoid communicating with people, avoid the embarrassment of having nothing to say, and worry about embarrassment when I can’t handle the topic.” Xiao Li said.
1 Pay attention to the individual life of contemporary youth
“In the social changes of marketization and urbanization, contemporary young people can no longer experience and have the collective life and collective identity of their parents’ generation, and it is difficult to obtain the sense of belonging in traditional rural society based on the network of acquaintances.” Lin Pin, a lecturer in the Faculty of Literature at the Normal University, said that in an increasingly atomized modern society, everyone has become an individual in the market, facing competition at any time but lacking care and comfort, and it is easy to produce huge emotional fluctuations. Therefore, when seeing the release of various emotions on the Internet, we should pay more attention to the individual living conditions of contemporary youth.
With the pursuit of education, job hunting, and job-hopping, the life circle of contemporary young people is constantly changing. The phenomenon of “separating each other” with family and friends is very common, especially in big cities. “Empty-nest youth” eat alone, travel alone, and live alone. Find offline channels for emotional venting. And what they face is huge life and work pressure.
Zhang Wen said frankly: “My friend can count with one hand, and everyone has their own lives. It is difficult to get together. I have been separated from my parents for a long time, and the common topics are very few. With the impact of the epidemic, the line There are fewer and fewer down activities. Apart from work, it seems that I have to stay at home.”
At the same time, teenagers are getting younger and younger, and many people have not yet possessed the ability to think independently and rationally. They have begun to “wander” in the Internet tide and form individual groups in the Internet world. Some experts believe that this is especially obvious in “fan circle” and online games. Even in some online “curse wars” and hot topics, the young group has become the main force.
On the Internet, extreme remarks such as “get out of the entertainment circle” and “get out of the earth” are not uncommon. Wang Xiangnan, a professor of psychology and a doctoral supervisor at a university in Guangxi, said: “Some young netizens do not complain, but they have no principles and mature worldviews and values. Their speeches are full of contempt, sarcasm, and hostility.” Wang Xiangnan said that they are very hot. Incidents and characters sometimes blitz and step on, relying on keyboard and mouse to make irresponsible remarks at will.
Wang Xiangnan expressed his concern about this phenomenon. He believes: “The lives of young people are becoming more and more inseparable from the Internet, and the boundary between reality and virtuality is becoming more and more blurred. Personal living conditions will bring online emotional problems. Problems in turn will affect personal life, and some of the negative effects produced are very unfavorable to personal and social development. Internet emotional problems continue in life and may cause emotional outbursts, mania, social panic, or severe depression, which may be serious It can hurt people and things and even cause suicide. The negative comments of individual netizens will be multiplied after being broadcast for many times, which can easily incitement other netizens and hinder the healthy functioning of society.”
2 Reshaping cultivation requires joint efforts online and offline
“The Internet is an information superhighway, which brings massive amounts of information to users, and has gradually formed a network society that is different from the real society. This is a huge change facing mankind. While greatly facilitating people’s lives, it also brings The corresponding problems and challenges have been solved.” Wang Xiangnan said.
Many experts believe that the current Internet abuse problem cannot be ignored. Many morbid phenomena are emerging day by day. While relevant departments are strengthening supervision and purification, as an active group in the Internet society, young people must also cultivate and enhance self-discipline.
Young People in the Internet Society Zheng Xuejing/Painting
The most important thing to cultivate in the Internet tide is to cultivate the ability to distinguish authentic and false information and the ability to extract effective information. The biggest feature of the Internet era is information overload. The Internet has also broken the one-way information transmission and reception relationship in the past. Only when individuals can effectively screen rumors to a certain extent, and can rationally treat various inflammatory information on the Internet, and are not deceived by it. Only the self-cultivation in the network society has the foundation for discussion.
In addition, attention to “getting out of the virtual to the real” has been repeatedly emphasized by the interviewed experts. The situation of “online intimacy and offline isolation” is not in line with the normal communication needs between people. The youth group can only get rid of the excessive dependence on the media, pull out of the virtual world, and seek more offline emotional support To talk to the direction and conduct offline communication and interaction between people can truly establish a healthy and stable emotional connection and avoid long-term internalization of negative emotions. “Meeting more friends in reality, having a rich offline life and a healthy psychology are the biggest helpers in cultivating self-cultivation in an online society.” Lin Pin said.
Faced with the status quo of younger age of “touching the Internet”, schools should assume more important responsibilities in the process of network literacy cultivation. The publicity of the school is stronger, and the education system can help students gradually understand, understand, and use the media by setting up relevant courses in a targeted and hierarchical manner. This is something that many parents cannot do because of their personal knowledge and media ability. of.
Huang Weiqiang, the founder of Internet psychological consulting platform One Psychology, believes that every generation will experience some “panic” when they grow up or first enter the society. Just like the fathers who “wear bell bottoms, grow long hair, and listen to popular songs”, the emotions of this generation now have their own expressions. “Media workers and cultural workers should carry out correct value guidance, and they should allow young people to build a belief, keep the fire in their hearts, believe that they can create more value, and prevent nihilism from being dragged into the abyss.”
Half-month talk reporter Wang Chunyan
Once, “on the Internet, no one knows that you are a dog”; now, “on the Internet, no one has privacy at all.”
Once there was no secret between neighbors living in the same compound; now, neighbors living in the opposite door do not know each other.
Today is not what it used to be. Just like the current virtual world and the real world, in the process of influencing and integrating with each other, it is often trance: Which one is real?
Under the profound influence of the online world and the real world, the actual communication between people is gradually decreasing, especially the youth group, which is becoming more and more atomized, and loneliness has become a shared label for many people.
Is loneliness good or bad? Some people enjoy it and gain a lot, some try to get rid of it, but some people regard carnivals on the Internet as the antidote to loneliness… How to get along with loneliness is a must for many people in the Internet age class.
How to “practice” loneliness in the Internet age, and how to surpass loneliness in reality?
1 Shared tags of contemporary young people
It is the active choice of the young man Sun Haipeng in the small town to disconnect the internet for 2 hours a day. He uses this time to exercise, either flipping through books, practicing calligraphy, or simply chatting with his parents and listening to them chatting about their parents.
“To be honest, I was not used to it at the beginning. I always wanted to pick up my mobile phone to see if someone was looking for me and if there was any important news that I missed.” Sun Haipeng said. Later, he found out that even if I didn’t look at the mobile phone. It will not delay any important things, but will have more gains.
“I feel more at ease in my heart. Whether it is exercising or reading a book or practicing calligraphy, it is a positive input process. Later, I persevered, and will turn off the social software reminder during the two hours of being alone. , If you really have something to call me, just call.” Sun Haipeng said.
But not everyone can find inner peace as quickly as Sun Haipeng. Lying on the bed and reading the mobile phone, reading all kinds of information, and turning over the news in each group, but the “post-90s” girls will not speak in the group silently. There is really no “new thing”. I will silently choose to watch variety shows or series, but I often can’t hold on for long, because I still want to know if there are interesting things in other apps. Every time that prompted her to make up her mind to put down her phone, she needed to get up early to go to work the next day, “So every Friday and Saturday, I only go to bed at two or three in the morning, but now that I think about it, it feels like nothing to watch. “
Silently is a “beijing drifter”, every day after get off work, he returns to the room shared with others, and hastily ate takeaways, and there is nothing wrong with it. “I have been working for a few years, and I feel that I have less and less contact with my classmates, and my colleagues are just nodding acquaintances. Without a boyfriend, and no other social activities, there is only Internet access.
In real life, there are many singles like “one person eats and the whole family is not hungry” like silently. The itinerary is basically two points and one line. Life outside of work can’t be simpler for various reasons: ordering takeout, going online, and sleeping.
“After a long time, I think it is good to eat alone and surf the Internet. It is very convenient to take out, or to make some semi-finished products by yourself. Now the convenience food is also very healthy. I feel that my life is very boring and a little lonely.” Say.
There is also a type of people who “bub” on the Internet all day like silently, but have a different life. Some people use extremely convenient online learning resources to “charge” themselves in their spare time; some people work on the Internet and run “public accounts” and “Toutiao accounts” that many people pay attention to, and they also have a fortune while exporting their knowledge. A lot of income…These people, even though they have the same two-point, one-line, same takeout, Internet, and sleep, but because of the different demands on the Internet, they have a different understanding of loneliness.
2 Solitude is a fork in the road
At present, loneliness is different from the way of getting along with loneliness, which results in a different life.
Some people choose to keep warm. When many people watch dramas or variety shows on “Xiaopozhan”, what makes them feel at ease is the overwhelming barrage. “Come”, “punch in”, “deduct a 1″… Those bullet screens that seem to be just brushing the sense of existence have given many people a different feeling.
Knowing that netizens “don’t know” the feeling of barrage is: “There are many people watching with you. These barrage of different time and space are cross-presented in front of your eyes. You can instantly know those similar or not similar to you. Human thoughts.”
This kind of “spiritual friendship” in the air is also a kind of social activity for many people. It saves the greetings in the real world and is simple and straightforward.
The “groups”, “communities” and “group chats” in cyberspace also have similar functions. When you want to fight against loneliness, there will be a circle to embrace you, and someone will use various ways to help you overcome Difficulties, temporarily forgetting loneliness, feeling warmth.
In the face of loneliness, there are always people who choose to be “positive and rigid” with loneliness and not leave loneliness a chance to breathe.
Online learning, offline fitness, online writing, offline travel… In the eyes of many people, loneliness is not terrible, it is just a state, no need for praise or criticism. If you have more time at your disposal, you can arrange a variety of online and offline activities. In the eyes of such people, loneliness also means busyness.
But there are also people who have too much time to know what to do, and negative emotions slowly accumulate. When there is nowhere to vent, the seemingly free virtual world becomes their “gas bucket”, and they make swear words on the Internet, no matter what you look at. I have to scold everything, as if the whole world is making mistakes; some people complain about themselves, they are full of disappointment in life, and they are not interested in everything, as if they are the most unlucky person in the world; others simply Enclose yourself in a world that only you can enter, be indifferent to everything outside, and refuse others to enter your world, as if living in a vacuum…
3 Let alone squat in the corner, “I” deserves a bigger stage
Readers who are familiar with the “Harry Potter” series of novels know that there is a magical creature in the book called Bogut, which can see through your heart and become what you fear most. The spell against Bogut is Bogut’s expulsion spell “funny”, the spell makes Bogut the most funny look you think. The more people there are, the better Bogut can deal with it, because it doesn’t know what to become. What really killed Bogut was the laughter, and when you laughed, Bogut disappeared as a smoke.
Solitude is like the Bogut of “Muggle World”.
But in the face of loneliness everywhere, it is not easy to solve it with a single sentence of “funny”. To live in harmony with loneliness, a series of big tricks to “practice” loneliness is needed.
First of all, we must face the existence of loneliness. Many people refuse to admit that they are alone, or think that they are not alone, but the lively online world is mostly just a way to pass the time, and does not allow the lost time to get its due value. After the uniform barrage and the flood of news headlines have passed, what is left are regrets and regrets for wasted time. Therefore, to face your loneliness is the first step to reconciliation with loneliness.
Second, find a suitable corner for loneliness, rather than let it become the master. Let loneliness fill your time alone, loneliness is like a wild horse running off the rein, I don’t know where to go. Be more self-disciplined, consciously ask yourself to leave the Internet, and feel more of the smoke and fire in the real world. Be more aware of crisis, and use activities such as reading, traveling, and volunteering to improve yourself, increase knowledge reserves, and improve self-cultivation. When this kind of life lasts for a period of time, you will be immersed in it and enjoy yourself. Looking back, loneliness is nothing more than that.
Third, as much as possible to achieve “the same inside and outside” online and offline. The loneliness of many people comes from the feeling that someone knows themselves online, but there are few confidants in real life. Therefore, the online “me” lives as a fish, while the offline “me” is struggling. There are less “personal settings” on the Internet, and more “being the same”. In real life, you might as well put down the “idol baggage” and let yourself and the people around you accept a self that is not perfect but true enough and sincere enough.